The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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