i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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