With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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