just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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