I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize