I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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