They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize