just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
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Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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