Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize