After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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