there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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