His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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