i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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