I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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