So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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