i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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