i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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