Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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