I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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