i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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