You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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