Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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