I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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