I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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