just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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