$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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