My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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