I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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