Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize