I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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