does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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