Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize