he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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