Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize