What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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