she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize