tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
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