i just wanna soil my oats bro
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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