Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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