just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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