You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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