Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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