Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize