it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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