the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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