Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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