So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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