"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize