Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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