Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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